The Big One - Give Er!

My California climbing partner normally writes emails worthy of novella status. She can type as fast as she thinks, pretty damn fast. But the day before I was attempting to do the Sorcerer - Hydrophobia linkup, all she wrote in her email was "Giver Er". Which is funny because she hates that saying but aquiesses that it is now a Canadian chant. Or at the very least a climber chant. But still it was appropo. The gym training had been done, the dieting had been done, getting climbing mileage in all season had been done. Time to "Giver Er"

Colin and I left the city at 11:30pm. We stopped at a friends place along the way where a party was going on and our actions were worthy of any climbing dirtbag. We stayed only long enough chow down on many Indian dishes that Shaheen is known for having at his parties. I practically filled my pockets with treats and he gave us a cheeze cake to take with us. How could we say no?

We were off to the Ghost to begin our adventure. At 2:15am we were geared up and leaving the truck in a known camping spot in the North Ghost. Under the cover of stars we started to walk. We had climbed the Sorcerer last year so knew the approach although this time we were going to have to find it in the dark. We got off track for about 15min, but 2.5hours later we were at the base of Sorcerer. It was still pitch black but when I turned my headlamp off I could see the black of the rock and white of ice, in a monochromatic way. But it was so interesting that the climb gave off a "presense" almost like a hum to me. I could tell I was beside something large.

Colin started to climb in the dark. I felt relieved to finally be on this objective. I wasn't nervous anymore, I was focused. On Pitch 2, I saw the sunrise behind me. It was spectacular. Seeing the silouette of the mountains and the red of the sky with the brightness of the sun. The crack between the worlds it is called. A "power time", full of magic. Not long after that I looked up at the ice and my breathing stopped. Above the Ice, the sky was a blue I have never seen before, so vivid. I remember my exact thought. "That must be what a blue sky looks like in heaven". Those 2 memories are worth the entire day.

The climbing on the Sorcerer was strenuous. My calves began to burn and some doubts began to creep into my mind... doubts like, "If my calves are sore now..." I banished those thoughts away. Now is not the time to entertain negative chatter. I would take each pitch as it comes. At the top of Sorcerer I announced to Colin that I need to SIT, I need to EAT, I need to DRINK. Colin can continue without stopping, but I needed a break. Oh and I needed to pee and that is always a laborious task when you have 4 layers of pants on AND a harness.

20minutes later we were back walking. We now had to ascend a long meandering snow slope to follow the curvature of the mountains. It felt like it went on forever, just when I thought it was done, more slope would appear. Eventually we found ourselves on a Ridge looking over the Ghost Valley. Devils Head being the most prominent feature. The wind was howling and I reached that amazing "second wind" place within myself. Hell I'd pay money to feel that more often. I felt in alignment and while I had been labouring for over an hour, now my steps felt easier and I was in the "zone" But that euphoric feeling never lasts long enough.

Unfortunately with gaining about 500m of elevation gain we had to drop that to get to the start of the Hydrophobia climb. Colin is sure footed on rock and scree. I don't think it occurs to him that I find this a harrowing experience. But the truth is, if you fall and slip and tumble on this scree you would most likely fall to your death. So with fear comes tentativeness and of course that makes one more likely to slip, a nasty catch 22. I am much slower on this portion of the climb. We anticipated this hiking to be an hour and it took us 2. But again I turn off the negative chatter in my head, and I remind myself that I am doing the best I am capable of.

At the top of Hydro I need another break to regroup after feeling so scared traversing & descending the scree slope. Colin has been waiting for me for about 40 minutes. But he knows I am not in a "good place" mentally and he gives me space. He offers to belay me across the low angled ice to our first rap which I readily agree. I know that in a different situation he would have expected me to solo this and wouldn't have given me the option.

With food in my stomach, some of my go-go RedBull/Water and abit of a rest I am good to go again. This day has kept me totally in the moment. Anything that happened past an hour starts to feel like a dream and no longer has relevance. Stopping at Shaheen's party feels like a week ago. So far we have been moving in the mountains for over 10hours and we are just over halfway.

We begin our raps down Hydrophobia. The raps prove to be technical. Rapping to almost our full rope lengths in some cases, raps that included some air time, and it took longer than we anticipated. At the base of Hydrophobia, we briefly stop for more food and Colin is off. The climb looks different than when I climbed it 2 years ago but still imposing and dramatic. As I belay Colin I think about the upcoming climbing ahead of me. I am tired but I start to concentrate on breaking the climb into each individual pitch. It feels more managable that way. I am sore but the ibuprophen I have taken is helping.

I begin to climb and find the character of this climb different than the Sorcerer. More people have climbed it so there are foot placements and spots to rest. I relax because I know my calves can handle this type of climbing. My upper body is fine. 7 months of working out with Nathan has put me in the best shape I've been in and the strongest.

Each pitch on Hydro feels like the same as before in terms of technical requirement and difficulty. Its all unrelentingly steep. I pace myself and don't allow my standard "no-holds barred" style of climbing. I need enough strength for every pitch.

The final pitch I really try to take the experience in because on some level I just want it to be over but on another level I know I will never be in this particular situation again. As I'm climbing I give thanks to the ice for allowing me to climb her. I top out as it is approaching dark. The other "crack between the worlds" time - dusk.

We begin our 4 raps down and I begin to notice my fatigue. Not in my body physically but in my ability to manipulate my biners, take out screws, place things on my harness. Activities that I can do routinely take longer and I struggle with everything. Frustration builds because I know I am taking a long time to rap and I can feel Colin's impatience as well. Again I have to tell myself to relax and not to blow my mental concentration when I am so close to completing.

At 9:05pm we are back at the base of Hydrophobia. We have been out now for 18.5 hours. But there are no high fives, we still have to navigate our way back to the vehicle. We start our descent down the drainage and are wondering the best route to take when we see a trail. We follow the footsteps and find they are staying high up along the mountain slope and following the contours. Which means plenty of up and down. Which pisses me off in such an unrealistic way because I expect it to be downhill dammit. And I DESERVE downhill dammit and wha, wha, wha. How many times do I have to tell my Itty-Bitty-Shitty-Committee to shut up? Quite a few times I have to admit! When we find our familiar ATV road again I finally relax because I know we won't get lost.

After hours and hours of almost silence beyond climbing commands Colin and I begin to chat. We are tired, somewhat spacey, somewhat giddy, oh and ya, tired, but I'm excited too. We have done it. The Silver Bullet is waiting for us and I'm so happy to see her!

21 hours has gone by since we left the car. NOW we high five and give each other a big bear hug.

Driving back home was another adventure but suffice to say that we had a few climbing angels who got us back to Calgary in one piece.

I am very pleased with how I did on this objective. It was important to me to have a sense of style, with a proper attitude and approach. This inner objective isn't about ice climbing really, its about how I want to live my life. But what better way to test that, than in my favorite place - the mountains.