Monday, September 11, 2006

I say ROAD TRIP

Road Trip!! Road Trip!! Yup similar to Thelma and Louise, I navigated unfamiliar terrain on the Bart system with my heavy duffelbag from the San Fran Airport to a location that Michele could pick me up without fighting nasty traffic.

But wait, here comes the Thelma and Louise part... We hopped into her hot-rod Mr. Lunchbox (Toyota Corolla) and screamed into the upscale Berkeley Bowl grocery store extroirdinair where we robbed it of gourmet sausages and other delectable treats - yah really.

But wait, there's more Thelma and Louise -ish overtones to this blog, there were NAKED men too! I got your attention now don't I? Maybe not naked men like Mr Pitt but still, nakedness is nakedness people. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

Thelma and Louis aka Lise and Michele DID jump back in the car and careened east to Yosemite or more importantly Tualame Meadows to begin our climbing adventure. Man that road is crazy! Michele drives Mr. Lunchbox with the confidence of a person who has made this particular drive hundreds of time in many adverse conditions. Me, I have to admit that I had my foot on the brake pedal at times which I swear was under my feet. But friends that drive with me know that I am such a grandma driver it's painful.

We did pull up in the middle of night at a bandit campsite (I'm going to call it bandit for dramatic effect) and we put down a tarp on the ground, our sleeping bags and we crashed out under the stars. Surprisingly our other cohorts (now enough of us kick ass girls to call ourselves a gang) found Mr. Lunchbox in the early morning hours and we all woke up together.

The next morning we headed out looking for trouble and to reach our official campsite in Tualame meadows. We stopped at the tourist diner to grab some breakfast and OH WAIT, wholly shit but we DID see a Brat Pitt Look-A-Like, he sauntered up with a 6-pack (and I ain't talking beer) and some very lovely tattoos. Oggles were free, woohoo!

We chilled out that day to give Michele time to acclimate at that elevation. It was that or her obligatory puke-fest and nobody wanted that. Besides it gave me a chance to get to know my fellow gang members, Rain and Cherie. So we hung around and terrorized the campsite as girl-gangs are known to do. We still had Mr. Brad Pitt Look-A-Like restrained in the back of the car, I always knew that roll of duct tape would come in handy.

That evening we headed to a place now near and dear to my heart. The Mobil Gas Station. Ahhh... the Mobil! The Mobil Gas station houses the "Whoa Nellie Deli" which is really a gourmet resturant masquerading as a Diner. We had Roasted Duck, Louisiana Back Ribs, Rack of Bison. I'm not kidding the food is fucking amazing and worth every US dollar they charge. We also met up with yet MORE cohorts, Chris and Tori. We all had great fun with our reign of terror and also celebrating Michele's birthday.

Now this is where the Naked men come into the picture. After the fantabulous meal the girl-gang continued East, driving at breakneck speeds over the scrubby desert with the High Sierras as a backdrop, in seach of Natural Hot Springs. They dot the area and sure enough we found a tub that could fit 4 dangerous babes.

The soak was heavenly and later in the evening 2 cute boys did in fact show up and asked if they could join us. Sadly... Very sadly.. We were just departing but STILL they were naked and that's all that really matters.

Sunday we got to the business of actually climbing. After getting scooped on the route we were hoping to do (Holdless Horror) we ended up having fun on a single pitch crag area. Michele as the ropegun did a fine job getting those ropes up and I started to re-acquaint myself with Slab climbing. Fun Fun!

The next day it was back to only Thelma and Louise since even dangerous gang members have jobs they must go back to. I'm assuming they had other raping and pillaging duties to attend to elsewhere.

We climbed Cathedral which is rated as a 5 star classic or as Michele likes to refer to them the top 50 crowded classics. We got up very early to start our approach and hopefully be the first party on the climb and hot DAMN we were! She wasn't kidding about the popularity of this climb however, at one point I reckon there was at least 4 other parties below us. The Granite rock was lovely and I got some practice on cracks and chimneys. It was a long day for both of us but kudos go to Michele who lead the whole climb.

The next day we went to a great crag and I punished my feet again by jamming them into cracks. I had the most fun on a tenuous slab climb (top-roped of course) where the name of the game is body positioning, proper weight on the feet and an eye for micro holds and smearing opportunities. This last day we made another pilgrimage to the Mobil gas station. Ahhh... the Mobil! And back to the Hotspring. Unfortunately this time there were no cute boys in the hotspring but a very drunk local from Mammoth. We contemplated drowning him and leaving his body as fodder for the animals in the desert, but there was no sport in it since he was so drunk, so we left him unscathed. Our hottub visit was a tad shorter this time!

But as with other banditos and fugitives, our adventure was quickly coming to a close. The next day we packed up our gear and drove back to San Franscisco. We did squeeze in one last reckless crime spree at the Northface outlet, stealing deals left, right and centre!

Happy, tired and broke I gave my partner in crime Michele a great big hug and hopped on the plane back home. But not before we hatched another plan to cause fear and mayhem at the Livermore Wine Festival in December.

I think Thelma and Louise would be proud.

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