Flying High

I've been in some amazing places, and am grateful for the things I've seen and experienced. There are a few situations I never expected to be in and soaring over the Canadian Rockies in a Cessna 180 is one of them.

I found myself with pilot Jim Hrymack in his plane, exploring the mountains from a vantage point which never occurred to me that some (a few) are privileged to experience. I hadn't run into too many pilots before, mostly just the ones to-ing and fro-ing paying customers on commercial flights. I've never met someone who is as passionate about flying as climbers can be about climbing and found out there are plenty more than just him. For some reason I didn't see pilots as obsessed individuals whose hearts are floating on the updrafts as surely as mine is residing within the beauty of frozen ice. On a prior afternoon I was watching Jim perform acrobatics in a small airport and I ended up shooting the breeze with a couple pilots in the observation lounge and listening with rapt attention to their favorite flying stories. I've come to appreciate that the passion of flying and climbing isn't that much different. These guys had all come into contact with climbers at various times in their flying careers, whether they were flying them to remote locations or rescuing them. They seemed to have a respect for climbers, not unlike the respect I had for them as pilots.

We left the Springbank airport with a few objectives; to check out how the ice is forming in the Ghost and Wiaprous range and to fly over the Columbia Ice Fields. May I just add that being able to do an aerial reconnaissance of ice climbs is about the COOLEST thing ever! However I had no idea what I was in for, even though Jim did try to warn me about it. "It could get bumpy" he says. Which in retrospect I realize is akin to when a doctor is going to perform some really lousy procedure on you with no freezing and calmly says "This might feel uncomfortable". In both cases, understatement is the key.

We were flying towards the mountains and I saw some ice and excitedly I pointed and said "There!". Jim says "Lets get closer". Next thing I know we're heading towards the climb, and really fucking close to it and we bank sharply and then I'm looking down at it, and bumpy means the little plane is moving quite energetically and I start screaming while saying something like "Wholly FUUUUCK!!" I can't remember if the scream was preceded by words or if the words were actually part of the scream.

My body temperature shot up and I was bathed in sweat and I realized how stressed I was. Stressed in a different way then when I've been scared on a mountain or fearful that I could die (that feeling really sucks btw). Climbing fear has more low grade tension and anxiety but you can still make decisions because things are happening slower. This fear had equal wieghting of adrenaline and terror. I think it ignited the flight or fight response in a primal way I couldn't really control. I imagine though that after some repeated exposure I would get better at dealing with it, if I didn't have a heart attack first.

Jim was always able to navigate away from the turbulence but a few times the small plane took a sudden drop that would elicit more involuntary screams on my part. Think roller coaster way high in the air and close to big mountains.

I was happy to leave the front range and head west to Jim's objective, the Columbia Ice Fields.

We were following the highway below to get our bearing and Jim was referring to his flying map while I had my mountaineering topo map. I was amazed how this wasn't that much different than using a map when on the highway just wwwaaay farther up.

I was in awe when I realized that we were flying right by Mt Patterson, the mountain I had climbed in the summer with Barry Blanchard and Jason Billings. To see it from this vantage point was stunning. I was able to point out the ridge where we bivvied for the night. The mountain looked so massive, I had a hard time believing I was able to climb it, and there seemed to be a dichotomy between my memories and the scope of what we did when looking at the mountain.

The mountains are incredible from the air and I had a chance to look at some of the giants of that area, Columbia, the North and South Twins. I saw ice fields I never knew existed back there. I also saw where Jim and his buddy Steve have landed their planes outside of the park boundary to climb some of the peaks. When he told me about his adventures with Steve it seemed like a cool and somewhat crazy concept. When I was actually there I changed my assessment to focus more on crazy. On that flight, we were only checking it out in preparation for when Jim and his buddy would go back there later in the winter, when the crevasses that could eat planes would be filled with snow. Both of these guys are experienced pilots and have earned the abilities to try this type of endeavour. I put them in the "hotshot" category of piloting. I've met guys like Jim before but in the climbing arena. Individuals who are in love with an activity and have been doing it most of their lives and are professionals. These are the guys you want to be with because, a) they've kept themselves alive for a long time. b) they've been in enough challenging situations to know their limits. c) they have deep respect for their environments. d) they stay calm.

Which is good because a situation came up when I needed Jim to stay calm and cool. Early in the flight I had a sobering realization, what happens when I have to pee? For some reason I hadn't thought of this fact - at all. Which is really stupid because I have a bladder the size of a walnut at the best of times let alone when I was being buffeted by turbulence with a harness seat belt pressing against my bladder and kidneys!

I knew we were going to stop at the Golden Airport to refuel and eat lunch. I waited as long as I could within my limits and then had to ask how far we were from the airport because I was going to have to pee soon. Jim didn't question my statement for a second when I told him my holding power was about 30minutes.

We wrapped up our flying and we started to head to Golden. I am pretty good about assessing the length of time I can hold my pee, born of years of experience of having to do so. But in this situation I probably cut it closer than I should have since I really didn't want to have to pee and I really didn't want to cut this amazing flight short. But eventually I had to acquiesce to the request of my bladder.

By the time we are over Golden I am in that slightly rocking stage of intensity, trying hard to not think of my bladder while at the same time beseeching it to hold out just abit longer. Golden is shrouded in low cloud cover. I can tell by Jim's tone of voice that something is amiss. Finally I have to ask, "What does this cloud cover mean?". He looks over at me and calmly but firmly says "We can't land, we'll have to continue to Calgary and that's another half hour"

I would have liked to seen the look on my face because I wonder what worry, shock and desperation look like. I look over at him and less calmly but just as firmly state "I will not make it that far Jim, I'm going to have to pee in the plane"

I've pee'd in a fair amount of adverse situations while climbing and in some cases with my partner standing fairly close beside me. But that is nothing, not even close to being in a very small plane, strapped into my seat, shoulder to shoulder with a guy I don't know very well. This takes going to the bathroom to a whole other level. For some of you who have read my previous blogs you may recall my failed attempts to use a devise called "the Whiz". It's designed to help women pee in weird situations as well as standing up. My attempts with this device resulted in me peeing all over myself - more than once! But having said that I do have a fair amount of experience peeing into ziplock baggies, nalgene bottles etc but normally while in a tent. Can't say I've ever tried to pee into a barf bag while strapped in a plane with my pilot right beside me. That my readers, was a whole new experience. But I had no choice; it was either at least attempt it or pee my pants.

Jim was a prince throughout the whole situation. He knew it had to be done and he knew I was in a very exposed and embarrassing situation. I asked him to please, PLEASE just keep looking forward until I said it was ok.

Mustering all the concentration I could, I managed to pee in this small little barf bag, don't ask me how I did it. I think I had a couple urinary angels helping me out. The barf bag was dangerously full, I'm tying it off with a twist tie heaving a huge sigh of relief and dare I say sense of accomplishment when to my horror, the bag springs a leak! Then another, and I realize the bag is disintegrating before my eyes. I yell to Jim the situation and again as calm as calm can be he says "We'll have to do a drop" which is fine with me! I worked hard to not spill anything in his plane and now all my hard work is quickly going to drain out of the bag and onto his floor! Going at 175miles an hour he opens the window and I quickly throw the vile bag out the window. We were over forest at the time so at best some poor bear or cougar is going to get thumped on the head but even that's a slim possibility.

I look over at Jim and start to laugh at the unreality of the whole situation. I try profusely to apologize for peeing in his plane, maybe it was less apologizing and more babbling. Perhaps I had reached my threshold for pretending to be a calm rational person while way out of my element. I laughed in relief, embarrassment and because when you think about it, it was a damn funny situation.

Jim seemed unfazed by the whole situation although I can't help but wonder if at some point, while he's sitting in the airport recounting flying stories with his buddies, he'll start with "Oh man, I had this woman in my plane one time....."

I'll wrap up this blog with a quote as I think it could apply to pilots and climbers alike and maybe can explain to others some of our motivations...

"For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return." - Leonardo Da Vinci

Blog Please

Anytime I get a request to Blog (which I did) I feel I should comply as I've been remiss of late.

This week I had a party in the bouldering gym, it was the year anniversary of Colin's passing, Nov 14. It was by accident that I set the party for that date but upon reflection it felt like the right way to mark that day. A group of us got together, we climbed, we laughed, we drank, we hung out. We gave a toast to Colin. I miss him as much as ever shit, damn fuck. Ah well, I'm tired of blogging about it so that's progress.  The hangover the next day was a good indication of a fun night along with the fact many of the guests didn't leave till around 3am and the rest of us didn't shut it down until 4:30am. I perked up with a good greasy breakfast the next afternoon (we'll call it brunch) and the hair of the dog that bit me at about 5pm with Tom and Lyle at the Ship and Anchor.

I need to say that this blog is going to be a random jumble of ideas; things that are either going on or bugging the fucking shit out of me and should be spoken of. 

I went out drytooling with Tom, Lyle and his buddy Gene on Friday. Drytooling is rock climbing except we use ice tools instead of our hands and on our feet we have mountaineering boots and crampons. We hiked in about 50minutes to a drytooling crag called the Playground up behind a quarry close to Exshaw. I've been staying fit with training and working out in the bouldering gym and using the tools there. You would think that would help the first time out for drytooling - hmmm not so much. It's a scary sport, I don't care how much you prepare! Not "I'm gonna die" scary (which I've felt before and that really sucks) This scary is more along the lines of "I really hope that hold doesn't pop off" or "Damn if Tom falls right now I'm going to get a crampon in the face" So maybe scary isn't the right word, anxious is probably more apt. But after a couple laps it started to feel more natural and I began to appreciate that yes, my workouts have been helping and it was heartening to be able to climb a M7and get to the top. Keep in mind that the hardmen are doing M11 to M13, just to reiterate that I am firmly in the amateur camp with this sport. It was fun to hang out with some friends. I don't get out climbing with Lyle all that much but each time is memorable. Lyle is a lovable rogue, or a "skeet" for some of you familiar with Newfie speak. 

What is a lovable rogue exactly, well... he may say or do things that other guys would get their face slapped for but somehow pulls it off with a grin that says "who me?" There are a colourful assortment of rogues, skeets, alleycats, players and men of dubious character in the climbing community. Personality quirks aside these guys can also be exceptional climbers, could save your life one day and if you're lucky can become dependable and loyal friends. But beware, they could still try and sleep with you if you're having a weak moment, an indecisive moment or a drunk moment... you get the idea... Ha yuk! That's not to say there are not women in the same camp but I haven't ran across them, or they haven't hit on me anyhow - what's up with that?

The climbing was fun but now it's wet my appetite for ice, which won't happen until the weekend. Then, shit I am getting OUT there. Enough of this no ice climbing nonsense.

We interrupt this Blog for a rant. Warning I have no intention of being politically correct about it. Its a rant not a reasoned observation. SO... there I am trying to get to a store. A freestanding building with a decent parking lot. I drive, I find a spot, I go in, I purchase said item that is on my list and I get the hell out of there. Done - finito. NOT today. The problem with this scenario is that this store sits precariously close to something I really dislike; a shopping Mall. I can't for the life of me understand the attraction of a Mall. An edifice to rampant consumerism and shitty fast food. Ya ya I was shopping too, not much different. But its the parking lots I have a big problem with, and the drivers in these parking lots. Anyhow I digress, I'm trying to get to MY store and I take one little wrong turn and I end up in the Mall parking lot. Which should have been no big deal, drive through the parking lot, cross the street and voila I'm in MY parking lot at the store I want to sneak in and out of. 

But not so fast, do you know what day it is? One day closer to the biggest consumer scam in the Western World - yes that's right Virginia, Christmas. Christmas dictates that droves and droves of people will get into their cars to drive to the Mall to spend an inordinate amount of money on shit that no one, not even a kid really needs for Christmas. BUT before they get into the Mall, I would say at the exact time they get into their cars something happens. The driver gets stupid, unaware and generally becomes a menace. I'm the first to admit I'm not the best driver, I get lost easily, I can't parallel park for the life of me but I know how to use my signal light, I can use my gas pedal and can assess a situation. Market Mall was already a zoo, it was a Saturday. But I have this fucker in front of me going 5km because he has to slow down to look down every parking aisle to see if he can see a spot. Like what, is a sunbeam of light going to shine on some empty spot so you can see it?? So while he is driving like a NOB, other cars are happily swinging out in front of him and why not? I would, he's an idiot. But the problem is that I'm behind him and I can SEE my store, just across the street, but its going to take me 15 min to get there.

But I think my annoyance isn't just with the drivers, its that they're there in the first place. Walking around like stunned drones wondering where they're going to spend their money. I dunno maybe its because I've travelled to poor countries but its like taking the Blue Matrix pill, once you wake up to how most of the world lives it hard to forget. Malls seem garish and obscene to me, so much affluence, so much excess and parents are there with their children teaching them how to become good little consumers with their designer label clothes and addictions to all that the consumer industrial complex has to offer.  I'm surprised by my reaction to all of it, its not indifference anymore, it's anger. Millions and millions of children are living in abject poverty, parents watching their babies die, war and fear and here we are in our comfy malls. Fortified and defended against feeling the wretchedness of the rest of humanity by impenetrable walls of stores. And why? Because we were lucky enough to be born in North America rather than Darfur.

I stopped Christmas shopping 2 years ago. I didn't have the stomach for it anymore. I wrote a letter to all my friends and family whom I traded gifts, I politely asked them not to give me gifts and I would donate my Christmas dollars to a charity. A girl in Africa gets to go to high school for the next 5 years. Merry Christmas to her. :-)  Last year the money went into a friend's NGO "Christmas Future" A brilliant way to give. (Please check it out)  Now I'm going to sound weird but that's fine with me; I stopped putting up a tree or decorating my place, at first it was because I wasn't home for Christmas but now I realize that I don't have the interest in the Christmas concept anymore. A fake tree with decorations - for what? I don't really even buy into "Jesus as Savior" anymore. So if it's not about his birthday and life then what is it for? A fat guy who only gives present to the developing countries kids? I know what some of you may be thinking... "Geez girl, lighten up, it's about getting together, family and the warm and fuzzy feeling all the Christmas jingles stimulate in us". My Christmas will be cooking dinner for friends who find themselves in town without family - we'll have a great time and I won't have to buy anything nobody needs just to celebrate the day.

As I mentioned this is a rant and I think it's impossible to really rant without sounding like a pious, judgmental asshole. You know what else bugs the shit out me? Parents that say "Well Christmas is about the kids" Bullshit, kids gets taught to demand the latest craze and be greedy about what they want. How? Perhaps it's the excess of gifts they get now that they lose their intrinsic value. How? Perhaps because they're allowed to be indoctrinated by TV commercials and the product placements in their favorite shows. What would happen to kids if the cable got turned off and the X-box was broken? Shocking to think of such a tragedy.

When empowered, most kids I know are damn concerned about the welfare of other kids. You show them children their own age who are living in mud huts and walking 10km to get unclean water and they'll be concerned - damn straight.  I listened to an 11yr old girl who had raised $6000 dollars to help build schools in Asia because she didn't think it was fair that they couldn't go to school. Merry Christmas to them.

Eventually I DID get to my store but not before I got really pissed off and then I was disappointed in myself for letting it all get to me. The driving, the malls, all of it. No Zen in my car I can tell you that much. I don't think Buddha ever said "You stupid FUCK - DRIVE!!" Yup that was me. I did contribute to the consumer machine by purchasing things I didn't really "need" but wanted - so take what I say with a grain of salt.

To wrap up, I beseech anyone who reads my blog - will you please indulge my request? Go to  www.shell.com/scenarios/  and read the scenarios. Maybe you don't care about it too much but care now, or care later because this shit will affect all of us eventually. I know... first I'm ranting and now I'm preaching. People like me annoy me when I encounter them but I don't care, I'm really concerned about the impending state of the world. I'm not going to ask you to write a book report, just read the scenarios and then decide for yourself what you think. That's all.

OK I'm going to go now and go to a party. I've started to wonder if I'm going to stop being invited to parties if I continue to be a sanctimonious opinionated asshole. :-) I do try to reign it in whilst in the presence of others although I've noticed of late that I'm having a hard time doing so - eegadd. HOWEVER I do figure that its my blog and and I can cry if I want to.

How is everybody out there? I hope your Christmas season is full of friends, laughter and community and less malls, debt and road rage. Oh I have ONE more request. A challenge really.... (evil grin) This Christmas give a gift you may have never given before, tell someone "I love you". I don't care who it is, your dad, your sister, your friend. But someone who doesn't hear this from you. Dude this is scary, your heart may race and you palms will sweat, try it anyway.

It'll help make Christmas what it was supposed to be, a time to spread good cheer and it won't cost a cent. Peace.