Almost off

The packing for Bhutan is about 99% done so I'm breathing a sigh of relief and starting to feel like its coming together. Unless there is something minor I've missed but it'll be more of an annoyance than anything. I'm always amazed at the amount of logistics needed to go away for a big trip and that its always more expensive that I think it will be. Like I've said before I plan for and accept the cost but still there are  the incidentals I don't always think about. Oh well, I know this trip will be worth it and there's always Kraft Dinner when I return.

I picked up some canadian T-shirts and some things to give away to schools and such. I also bring postcards and family photos as I've found that they go over really well when I travel. I think it helps for others to see you in a family context as that helps to take you out of the box of "tourist" even if its only for a few minutes. I have a journal and will be keeping track of the days. I've reread my journals from other trips and have been amazed at the nuances that I've written about that I tend to forget when the fresh memory fades.

I am feeling slightly more stress about Kathmandu right now since I will be on my own there. I'm excited about the sense of adventure there but I'll be in a big bustling third world city alone for some of it. I am planning on catching up with my friend Monique. It seems quite jet-set to be meeting in Kathmandu, but Monique and I always have had the flair for the dramatic!

While I'm away an article I wrote will be published in the climbing magazine Gripped. The story is about my climbing relationship with Colin. It is something that feels like it happened quite magically in many ways. The article is based on my first blog I wrote after Colin's death. Over the course of dealing with his death I would tweak the article. It is crazy to admit, but after Colin died I knew I would write about it and I new that Gripped would publish it. Now I have no good reason for feeling this way, I'm not a writer per say, beyond the meanderings I subject all you readers to. And my logical brain insisted it was hubris to imagine that I would have something to say that may be of relevance to other climbers. But my insecurities aside, what fueled me was the desire to honour Colin in a bigger way. I wanted to stand up and tell other climbers how great he was as a person and as a climber. To leave a lasting imprint that he mattered to me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to put myself out there in such a personal way to the climbing community at large but that seemed worth it. So one night I drank too much wine, got some liquid courage and emailed my story to the publisher. Once I hit the send button I had this deep conviction that the article would be accepted. Then my rational brain would pipe up and explain why there was no chance in hell it would get published. But this deep knowing would patiently explain that it was a done deal. The next working day Gripped responded that they wanted to run the story. I asked Catherine if she was all right with this and she gave her approval. Gripped asked for photos so I sent my favorites that I think show Colin in his element, as I remember him, smiling, competent and accomplished. I have such fond memories of all the pictures which are of some of our funnest times together. Colin was loath to admit it, but he adored his photo being taken. I always found this amusing as it didn't really fit with his hardcore image. I would have fun teasing him about it every now and then. His inconsistencies is what could make him both lovable and insufferable! He was always deeply engaged with any photos that him and I took. After our trips we would often compare images and decide on which were "the money" shots and why; colour, composition, lighting etc. I think he would agree that readers of Gripped will get a bag of Gold this April. At least I think so.

Well, I'm super tired and ready to appreciate the last sleep in my bed for awhile.

If I can sneak in a blog or two I will but if not then we'll catch up when I return. Bye happy readers may you have your own journeys and adventures in April.

Lise

PS: after a couple abysmal attempts to master the "whiz" I got tired of peeing on myself and decided it was best that the whiz stay at home!

When a whiz is not such a whiz

I am going to pre-apologize for this post, this topic will not be everyone's cup o' tea or nalgene bottle of..... now why ruin the surprise right away?

There is always something I wished I could do. The desire born of many interrupted sleeps, tosses, turns and frustration. Something that most people wouldn't even consider unless they spent enough time sleeping in tents....

I want to be able to pee in a bottle while in my sleeping bag. I am a "middle of the night urinator". (for some reason that sounds like it could be a title of a song) Whether I'm at home, or in a tent during a howling wind at 4000m, nature continues to call. Getting out of your sleeping bag and venturing into the cold night to pee is a pain and when you have to get fully dressed for the occasion its a chore. The downside to this though for many women is urinary issues if you don't pee when you need to. I've found out the hard way so I take this issue quite seriously. I have pee'd in a bottle in a tent but its fraught with its own issues, you STILL have to get out of your sleeping bag and position yourself, its dark, there is limited room, not to mention the awkwardness when you have a tent-mate.

In to save the day... aids for women to pee standing up. Do a search on the Internet and you will find many contraptions that a woman can use. One disposable penis coming up! :-)

But standing up to pee is not the same as lying down in a sleeping bag, in a tent. In retrospect I'm not entirely sure why I thought I could actually do this, portable penis or not. But I bought my little contraption from Mountain Equipment Coop, the "Whiz" its called. With happy visions of never having to get out of my sleeping bag to empty my bladder again, I brought this home.

I figured I should test it. I haven't had enough wine to drink tonight to go into detail as to *how* I did my test but suffice to say it didn't work. I pee'd all over myself. There's an issue of gravity working against you when you're lying down, not to mention serious operator error on my part. Ever tried to instantly stop peeing when you find things going horribly wrong? Not good, lets just leave it at that. Perhaps this idea could work if the contraption could get a tight seal, but shit how would you get the damn thing off of you after that?? I really didn't give this issue enough consideration. Again sorry for you squeamish readers who may not like this topic. Most mountaineers and travelers get quite blase about talking about urinary issues, bowel movements (lack there of or way too much activity) and stomach issues, its a sharing of information and commiserating when things go awry. (for instance, bad vodka helps settle the stomach, totally true!) Mind you I doubt there will be too much commiserating regarding peeing all over myself....

I may have to scrap the dream of whizzing lying down or at least defer it for the time being. I think I'll gain some proficiency using the little contraption standing up before trying to get too fancy. One must walk before they run.

Maybe before Bhutan I'll become a whiz at it. One can only dream....

PS: now this is disconcerting, I decided to do a search on the web for "women peeing lying down" Maybe someone has already figured this out? And yes I was prepared for some sleezy weblinks to show up. What comes up on the first page of my Google search? This posting.

Great Day in the mountains

Catherine and I got out for a day of snowshoeing in the mountains today. It was such a great day out there! In the past we've gone to areas where we've had to share the space with track-set skiing. But NOT today. We were where skinny skis would fear to tread, heading along a creek bed and ultimately gaining elevation to make it up to a spectacular ridge close to Helen Lake and the Dolomite pass. We were following old tracks from back country skiers. We could see where they had made some pretty turns along a slope. I've never backcountry skied but I have alot of respect for anyone who is going to make the arduous trek up there to ski down. A wee bit dangerous with triggering avalanches (in my humble opinion), but ice climbers shouldn't throw snowballs...

Catherine is 7 months pregnant now and is doing amazing. She has a steady consistent pace that I'm happy to follow.

As much as I love to ice climb there is also something about moving through the mountain environment that I get so much out of. For the past year I've been trying to put my finger on the elusive quality I experience out there. All I can say is that it has something to do with steady movement that the start and stop of climbing doesn't provide.

At one point we were making our way up the snow slope, abit of a squall was blowing in. I look up and see Catherine amidst the blowing snow. I realized that I could have been in Mongolia, Peru... any mountain in the world really. My breathing was steady and my steps had a slow rhythm. I felt this deep sense of satisfaction and realized that in that moment, right where I was, was where I was happiest. Perhaps that's what keeps mountain people in the mountains, that innate sense of belonging. It's not connected to taking risks or adrenaline. I don't experience it on a Mt Bike or on a running path. Not when I'm on an ice climb either. I suspect that when certain activities need a heightened sense of awareness and focus perhaps it overshadows the more subtle messages being communicated inside and out. I experienced this sense when I was moving along the ridge in the Ghost when Colin and I did our Link-up, I was where I was mean't to be. I imagine that one could get clinical and hypothesize that during slower-moving endurance activities, dopamine or endorphins are more likely to be released.

I prefer to believe in the magic of nature's whisper and how my own higher self remembers and responds. Like a language rarely spoken but you never quite forget.

It was Colin's birthday today. I was pleased that Catherine and I spent it together in the mountains, I think Colin would have approved.

Hello Robaxacet

The usual suspects showed up for our Thurs Bouldering session, Nic, Karena, Jason with Eva and Jules. Lyle showed up for the first time. Friendly competition ensued while one person's antics would inspire the next climber. Eva was showing Nic and Lyle how she so easily does the Tom Cruise Iron Cross move, which in my opinion is a recipe for popping your shoulder out, but the guys were trying. Not that they had a monopoly on almost hurting themselves. I did one better. I get so wrapped up in the climbing and the challenge that I forget that I could be in a somewhat sketchy situation. Until my tools popped off my hold and I was flying down towards the crash mats. The sudden stop illustrated quite clearly the situation I had been in. I landed flat on my back with a loud thud! It became apparent that a futon is really not designed to take the impact of a big fall. I could feel the concrete beneath me. Ooohhhh did that hurt. I think I rattled every bone and organ in my body. I had a headache when I went to bed and getting up in the morning was a slow endeavour. One would think that since I'm recovering from whiplash I'd be abit more careful.... or that because I'm going away on a big trip I'd be thinking of that too.... ya, not so much! I'm walking around gingerly today sort of wondering exactly what damage one can get from crashing to the ground like that. Things feel sore from the inside duuuuooohhh!

Robaxacet that I'm eating is not helping, what the......! I opted for the more benign off the shelf version deciding maybe I didn't need the heavy duty Codeine version. Now I'm considering going back, grabbing the pharmacist by her white coat and muttering, "give me the god damn codeine STAT!"

I booked a massage today so I'm hoping that will work some magic. And if all fails when I get home tonight I'll polish off that bottle of wine that's sitting in my fridge. I would like to say that I'll be smarter next time but who am I kidding?

One of the things I noticed about bouldering last night, not only is it grown-up "play time" but it creates a level playing field for the kids. On the wall Julie and Eva aren't kids they're "climbers" and good ones at that. They can do things on the wall that we can't and they get a certain amount of admiration for that. I think that on some level that has to build self esteem when they can participate in an activity with grown ups and get the same amount of respect. I love having them there too, it brings another element of fun and community having kids around. It sure helps that they are nice girls and well behaved.

It never fails to amaze me how much fun it is to hang out with my buddies and climb. We can have a few beers, what have you, climb, visit, laugh and spend some no-stress time with each other. Good times. I'll post a few photos when I upload them.

I'm either brilliant or an idiot

Ain't that the way it often works... you make a decision. If it works then you can pat yourself on the back for your smarts and or willingness to do something different. If it doesn't then your friends will give you that look that says "What were you thinking?"

Flights to Kathmandu were driving me to distraction. The discount travel sites I had previously said were good deals? Not such good deals when you're booking an international flight with 1 month advance notice. Then the discount centres and the travel agents are licking their lips and rubbing their hands because YOU are fresh meat. The cost of a flight, while being listed on some sites at $2400 was skyrocketing up to $3100 and up when I tried to book online. One travel agent wished me luck as she couldn't do any better. What do you do? Assuming one knows they should have booked 2 months in advance at least, are you ballsy enough to wait until it's the airlines who are desperate and are dumping their flights about 2 weeks before your departure date? Unlikely in my case when I've just shelled out a large amount of money to go trekking in Bhutan! Or you decide to look at plan B.....

At one point in my exhaustive search at various flight permutations, transfer times and costs I came across an airline I had never heard of before, Etihad Airlines. It only came up on one search and the overall price looked good. For some inexplicable reason I was not able to book, the site would give me a bland and distressing message. "This flight cannot be booked please change your search parameters" I gave up on that one since I realized that "change your search parameters" was code for PAY MORE YOU IDIOT!

When I was talking to a living, breathing, travel agent, live in the flesh as I was sitting across the desk from her, (Yes some people DO book travel this way, no shit) :-) I mentioned this airline and her face brightened. "Oh Etihad, they are now considered one of the best airlines out there. It would be great if you could fly through Abu Dhabi." They are the national airline of the United Arab Emerites.

After much to-ing and fro-ing from website to website I realized that I was most likely going to have to shell out over $3000.... Then I thought of Etihad again. I got on their website. They fly out of Toronto, direct to Abu Dhabi and transfer to another flight on to Kathmandu. The trick being when they fly, only certain days of the week out of TO which coincided exactly with my travel plans. I start entering my dates, yada yada, and up comes an itinerary and a bright light shone down from the heavens replete with a chorus of angels. My flight to Kathmandu for $1540 including taxes and flight insurance. Could it be too good to be true? I double, triple checked the connections, certainly enough time. Could I get myself to Toronto to make their departure? Well lookey here, a WestJet seat sale to Toronto for $500 inclusive. I have a shitty layover in Toronto but I had that with the other travel itineraries too. Of course my doubting brain was chattering "If you're so bright Lise, why hasn't this come up on ALL the travel websites?" My thinking is that they probably don't have arrangements with this airline and absolutely none of the sites used WestJet. 

I took a deep breath and booked. I was even able to book my seats on Etihad. Their website is great and very easy to work with, and I hear the Abu Dhabi airport is really nice. My total my flight cost me just over $2000. I will report back as to how it worked, whether I was an idiot or brilliant.

On another note I was over at Jason and Deane's today. Looking at their photos and absolutely drooling over Deane's new Mac monitor. Its 33 inch and, well all I can say is WOW. Jason was showing me his photos of Aconguaga. What a great looking trip, with enough challenge to make it a bonafide adventure! He worked his ass off getting in shape for that trip, esquewed using a guide and did it on his own terms. Him and his partner Mark did awesome. I had to admit I was stressed saying goodbye when he left. It felt too soon after Colin's death, I didn't want him near any mountain, especially not on a different continent. But everything went well. He showed a photo of his helmet on the summit Cairn. And then a close-up of what was taped inside his helmet. A photo of him and Colin, one of my favorite photos of them. They're on a summit, Colin is holding a standard size rope and Jason is holding what looks like dental floss but could be mistaken for a rope. Their grins are large and they have their other arm around each other's shoulder, enjoying the moment. They both referred to that photo as "Thick and Thin" I haven't seen much of Jason since Colin's death as he's been working overseas. He had a very close relationship with Colin whom he met through his wife Deane. I met Jason ice climbing my first time out with Colin. We've been friends ever since with our own adventures under our belt.  In a sense we haven't had a chance to really share our grief. There we were looking at the photo and Jason released a deep breath that spoke volumes, I put my hand on his shoulder. I felt it too, such a large gaping hole where Colin should have been. I know Jason very well and can relate to his grief and vice versa. We were missing our friend so damn much. The rest of the afternoon I felt it. I could actually explore this cold and empty landscape inside myself. There is a north wind whipping over barren rock, picking up snow along the way. You can battle the wind and walk with effort, but it's inhospitable. You may endure, but you'll never thrive there. The cold seeps through the seams in your clothing, eventually chilling you to the bone. This place is timeless, only wind, snow and rock. Amazing how real it feels, this place in my heart. When I was alone in the car, I cried for myself and I cried for Jason too and for all of us that are grieving for Colin. If I thought Colin was in that cold desolate place I would go, climb up the interminable scree slope to stand on that freezing ridge to say Hello, no problem, I'd be happy to do it. But that's the problem, he's NOT there. He's not anywhere right now. I wish I could sound more hopeful, I don't want anybody to think I'm going crackers here, because I'm not. I know enough not to stay in unhealthy places for too long. This blog gives me a forum to honestly express my feelings in the moment which is more timely than waiting to unload on my therapist.  I DO know where a part of Colin will live in about 4 months. Catherine will give birth to a lovely boy or girl and there will be new life. It will be good.